I have received many comments on this video: some people are asking whether it is appropriate to act similar to how the Narcissist does, when trying to make it out of the relationship safely, saying that one shouldn't have to hide their intentions. Others are responding with a confirmation on just how unsafe and careless it would be NOT to do so. Obviously, I side with the latter point of view.
There are several reasons for that. First: why should you consider emotions of an abuser above your own, when they are clearly oblivious to how you feel? It is not like your suffering is going to help them in any meaningful way, even if some partners may have that (very wrong!) idea.
Second, larger point I was looking to make is this: it is not easy trying to free your life from a Narcissist - it is hard work, and most of that work is done in your mind, in your heart and only then is manifested in your actions.
While trying to break up with an abuser, the focus (of only privately) should be on your own feelings and your own safety. This is NOT the time to be your most giving, honest self - abusers thrive on dealing with people who are so attached to those ideals, that they forget common sense.
You do not have to put some one else's judgments of you, or their "hurt feelings" above your own life and well-being - they are your soon to be "ex" for a reason, and chances are, they fully deserve the title. It is time to put your own needs front and center.
Pull yourself together, remember your own worth, and let your better human qualities come through when you are dealing with a person who is actually able to appreciate it, as well as give the same in return. For now it is all about courage and respect for yourself.
Best of luck!
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