"Thank you for posting your videos. They are cogent and insightful and make a very difficult subject much easier to understand. I imagine lots and lots of people out there owe you a debt of gratitude for helping them.
I found your videos because I began to question my own behaviors and patterns in life and recognized that I might be a narcissist with NPD.
A lot of your videos are emphatic with the struggles of people with NPD. I was wondering if you could direct me to some resources for moving forward and overcoming these disordered behaviors. I have lost good people from my life because of my behaviors and feel wracked with guilt when I think of how I must have hurt them, so I think I genuinely want to change. Do you have any advice you can offer?
(...)."
First off, I would like to thank the author of this letter for his kind and encouraging words - I always feel great when I receive positive feedback from people, as it makes me re-focus on the main thing I aim to achieve with my work : to help people discover new ways to get in touch with the power of com[passion and insight within them.
Here is the answer I sent to this person:
"Hi, Neil! :) Thank you for writing! Recently I realized that the best way I know to really "ease" the behaviors that wound our own and many other people's lives is to try and gain some perspective on the WHOLE situation by stepping away from the "drama" of being a person the way our society defines it - when you are identified with your "role" of a friend, father, husband etc.
The best way I found to go ahead and submerge in the totality of the human experience beyond the roles we play is to dis-identify with those through meditation or any other spiritual practice that lets you feel the unity with the entire existence, not just your own body and mind.
If you are OK with it, you can start by sitting down for a few brief moments and paying "non-verbal" attention to some object or process outside your midstream. Many advise to pay attention to your breath, but really anything would do as long as you aim to *perceive* it rather than analyze it and categorize it and criticize it :) in your mind. If you just see it for what it is then you achieved the needed state (no need to strain though, of course, you understand - just "ease" into it) So then gradually you can expand your awareness (with no actual thinking) to feel a different kind of depth and connection to everything, and then your previous patterns of behavior will transcend as well.
I find this a lot more effective, as well as (and may be because it is) more gentle and considerate to yourself - as oppose to trying to "will" your mind and ego into doing something other than what it wants to do and therefore assuring more resistance :) Please do ask more questions if you like or better yet simply look up more info on meditation/expanded awareness and self perception, since there are many great people who have already discussed that at length.(...) Thank you for being responsible for your behavior and looking to address it - we are all better off because of people like you! Take good care and best wishes to you! <3"
I am happy to say, Neil later wrote to let me know that he found the advice helpful and it is bringing him greater peace, which, in turn, made me feel again that this whole thing is completely if I could help one human being feel better.
Thank you all for reading - BEST WISHES to you too!
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