One new (somewhat unexpected) skill to learn while getting over Narcissistic Personality DIsorder

I was going over some material related to NPD and found one interesting thought (I am hesitant to quote because this particular excerpt is in Russian, and it is rather long and academical which makes it difficult to translate...) Anyway - the main idea is that a person with Narcissistic Personality disorder possesses a false sense of their own importance and entitlement, as well as a tendency to mistrust and (here is the interesting part) therefore finds it difficult to ask for what they need directly. I am assuming that is because they feel like people around them should realize what is it that they need and put that agenda front and center. In addition to that, some of their deeper emotional needs, are intimidating, as they make an NPD sufferer feel extremely vulnerable and confused. It's a, small wonder than that a Narcissist avoids discussing their needs directly, hoping and fantasising about a special time and persons who would be able to figure it all out.

Of course, in real life such "ideal" state of things is hardly possible, yet Narcissists find it extremely challenging, even humiliating to come out and say out loud what is it that they are requesting. NPD-affected people routinely resort to manipulation, lies, all sorts of tricks in order to bring about fulfilment of their supposed needs and goals without having to ask and therefore expose themselves (and their fragile pseudo-egos) to the risk of being denied (read humiliated.)

I found this view both fresh and helpful. It certainly rings true for me. I immediately concluded that I should challenge myself more to talk about my needs and feelings in the open and therefore expose myself to a natural outcome, rather than trying to plan, scheme and control my way into a guaranteed result regardless of the needs and wishes of the other person.

On my channel's discussion boards and in private messages, I often get questions from people who recognise certain Narcissistic traits in themselves. The most common one is - how can I deal with it and make it less hard on myself and others? I feel like this is a rare chance for me to give a clear "prescription" - do challenge yourself to express more of your real needs, feelings and thoughts even if that means to expose yourself to less-than-desirable (immediate) outcomes. Because in the long run you clear out your own inner "backed up" mental and emotional debris - the ones prevent you from healthy relating to your own self and that of others.

Narcissism - getting out of fantasy word...

It has been a while since I wrote any "personal experience" posts, and there is a reason for it  - some of these personal growth experiences are so hard not only to go through but also make sense of- your established mind patterns do not really want to give up so easily, and that almost always results in a kind of "mental block" or confusion and "fog" that some of my readers also describe. Good news - we are aware of it. Bad news - we have no idea how to make sense of things that just don't :)

The reason I am writing all this is that today I had kind of an interesting break through and, in a way, it has to do with getting around established mental patterns. As many of this kind  of experiences, this one happened in the morning, while I was still lounging somewhere in between dream world and "reality" but my mind was already starting to run its usual script. It had to do with what would happen if I had control and opportunity to affect the world in more direct way (if you ever looked at NPD diagnosis criteria,, then you know that preoccupation with fantasies of success, power etc. is one of those) and then something unexpected happened... Right in  the middle of the tirade about how I'd fix everything if only I, and not some bunch of idiots and thieves were in charge (heh) another line of thinking had come in and basically asserted  that I have no business wasting my morning  hours fantasizing about stuff that sure is not going to happened and that it was just a plot to divert my attention and avoid the messy task of paying attention to my real self and my real life and what really needed to be done. Immediately after realizing that "message" I felt a physical sensation of what could only be described as satisfaction deep inside my body, and I have to say that I, like many affected people, struggle mightily with ever feeling connected to my body, let alone experiencing it in such a profound way.  I guess I am trying to let you guys know that most people who "live in their head" and so associate with their "upper", cultivated persona that they downright shun and neglect the imperfect, human part of themselves - those people would do well to try and develop a better relationship with their body - the physical side of their being, which should help them to integrate their "upper" knowledge into something more "real" and workable.

Of course, theoretically I knew all about that diagnosis criteria for a long time, and I even spoke and though about and analyzed it quite a bit. But never before did I experience real integration of that knowledge to the point of self-reflecting like that. 
I am sure that other factors were involved as well, but I am particularly excited and hopeful about being able to relate to my real self, my body included, and being able to receive that "feedback" and therefore establish what is "real" and healthy, taking care of the confusion and disconnect so many affected people have to deal with and try to overcome.